When the Battery Is Drained and Won’t Recharge
In 2018, some would have thought I was having an outstanding year. I was named one of Canada’s Outstanding Principals by The Learning Partnership—a recognition that, on paper, suggested everything was going well.
The reality was very different.
I was having a very tough year. Not just busy. Not just tired. I was struggling to regulate my own emotions—never mind helping others co-regulate theirs.
I was working nonstop, often restarting my workday somewhere between 10:00 p.m. and midnight and going to sleep at 2:00 a.m. I had toxic people on staff who were actively poisoning the school’s culture. Need I say more?
At the same time, my dad was years into his dementia, and grief had become a constant companion—quiet and heavy.
Then my body intervened.
I fell down the stairs—flipped backward—and hit my head on concrete, somehow managing to save the laptop I was holding. Not long after, I was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ and underwent a partial mastectomy.
Looking back, it’s painfully clear: my rechargeable battery wasn’t just drained—it had stopped recharging altogether.
The Moment I Lost It
One day, I completely lost it on my family.
I stormed out of the house, desperate for a moment to myself—a moment without responsibility, a moment to carve out time.
Time to breathe.
Time to sleep.
Time to unload the constant churn of thoughts.
Time to just be. Without responsibility.
Driving around the city, overwhelmed and unravelling, I realized I was losing myself. I wasn’t living my best life—or anything close to it.
That was the day I decided to take a few weeks off.
Why Rest Didn’t Come Easily
Here’s the part that still surprises me.
During my first week off, if you looked at my calendar, you would have thought I was still at work. Meetings. Tasks. Full days. My schedule looked no different—only the location had changed.
I didn’t know how to unwind.
I remembered something my doctor told me when I was a teenager:
You need to learn how to do nothing. You’ll find fulfillment in that.
At the time, I didn’t know how to do that.
After decades, I still didn’t.
A Grocery Store Line That Changed Things
At the end of my first week, standing in the grocery store checkout line, a magazine caught my eye. I opened to a page that stopped me cold:
“Most of the time, when we feel our life is out of whack, it’s because we don’t have much going on in the fun and purpose department.”
That wasn’t judgment.
It was curiosity.
I started thinking differently—not about productivity or balance, but about joy and meaning.
From Work–Life Balance to Life Balance
That’s when I was introduced to a simple but powerful framework developed by Lauren Bacon, a leadership coach. She described a life-balance matrix that immediately resonated with me.
The Y-axis represents energy—what energizes you and what depletes you?
The X-axis represents priority—what are other people’s priorities, and what are your priorities?
As I read on, something finally clicked.
All along, I had been trying to find work–life balance. But there is no work life and home life to balance separately.
There is just life balance.
It wasn’t about my inadequacy or inability to manage. It was about awareness. And that awareness brought relief.
What I Discovered When I Used It
Using Lauren Bacon’s matrix, I mapped out the activities that filled my days.
What I discovered wasn’t earth-shattering, but it was clarifying.
Some things were high priority and completely draining me—both at work and at home. Some things that gave me energy were actually work-related, while others had quietly disappeared from my personal life altogether.
Many things I was doing out of habit, obligation, or expectation—often without purpose.
And very few things lived in the fun and purpose department—what were to be my true priorities.
Seeing it laid out visually made the imbalance impossible to ignore.
An Invitation to You
I want to invite you to try this for yourself.
Plot the activities that fill your days using the energy–priority matrix. Then pause and ask yourself:
How closely does this reflect your values, goals, or sense of purpose?
Does it move you closer to something that truly matters to you?
What intrinsic rewards—energy, meaning, joy—might you gain by shifting even one thing?
This isn’t about doing less or doing more.
It’s about living with greater awareness and intention.
Because when your battery is drained—and no longer recharging—something has to change.
And sometimes, that change begins with simply seeing your life more clearly.
[Read Lauren Bacon’s full article here]