When Doing “Enough” Still Feels Like Not Enough

During NOIIE’s Connected Conversations (a 30-minute chat guided by a structured conversation protocol), a principal who is thoughtful, grounded, and deeply committed spoke about her challenge. She sleeps well. She exercises. She has routines that protect her physical, mental, and spiritual health. She works hard, and she sets boundaries. By any reasonable measure, she’s doing well.

The Tension

And yet, beneath all of that, she carries a steady stream of stress and self-doubt. A feeling that something is being missed. That someone might need more. That something more should be done.

She’s a teaching principal. A case manager for children with diverse needs. A school leader who stepped into the role suddenly—without the luxury of a slow handoff or a clearly articulated school vision.

In the midst of all this, she asked a simple, honest question:

Is there a way to know what matters most?

That question landed, because so many of us are unsure—especially when the work that matters most is the hardest to see and doesn’t exist on a to-do list.

There’s no checkbox for made this place feel safer today, or received confirmation that trust has grown, or relationship-building complete.

And yet, that’s the work.

During our Connected Conversation, one of the most grounding moments came when someone said, plainly:

If people want to be at the school, you’re doing something right.

It sounds simple. But it’s profound. When staff feel known, students feel seen, and a community trusts the work being done, it doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because someone is paying attention—and that attention rarely shows up as an item on a to-do list.

Something else emerged, too: the anxiety often isn’t about workload—it’s about focus. When there’s no shared goal yet, everything feels urgent. When there is a goal, you can finally ask: Does this move us closer? If it doesn’t, you can let it wait. And letting something wait is not the same as failing.

Leaving With Less Weight

By the end of the conversation, the principal didn’t leave with a new system or a perfectly ordered plan. What she had was a sense of support. Of being seen. She felt less alone in the tension she carries. And maybe that’s the reminder many of us need right now.

If you’re holding your work with care.
If you’re tending to relationships.
If people want to be around you—

You’re probably doing more than you think.
And that is more than enough.