When Adults Change the Way they Think, Young People Begin to Experience the World Differently
For almost two years, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside a remarkable school community in Wales. The school provides education for young people who live in care and for day pupils. All have experienced difficult educational journeys often interrupted by social, emotional, and behavioural challenges. Many students arrive having experienced instability, trauma, or exclusion. The school, made up of five learning communities, and its residential homes exist not only to provide education but to rebuild trust, restore belonging, and help young people rediscover a sense of possibility.
From the outside, people sometimes assume the work is primarily about managing behaviour or delivering specialized programming. But what I have come to see is a community intentionally designing the conditions where young people can reconnect—with learning, with themselves, with others, with areas of interest, and even with the animals that live in their animal care centre: chickens, geese, bees, dogs, and alpacas.
I work with a group of formal and informal leaders who sit on the Inquiry Leadership Team and meet online twice a month. I also facilitate in-person professional learning with staff and leaders—where I, too, get to visit the alpacas.
Recently, I wrapped up a series of coaching sessions with leaders from each of the five residential teams. If I had to summarize the growth I’ve witnessed in one word, it would be community.
A Community, Not Just Five Houses
Within the residential program, staff have begun reimagining the five houses not as isolated units, but as part of one interconnected community. That may sound simple, but in a context where safeguarding is critical, it represents a significant shift in thinking.
Young people are increasingly:
joining one another for meals
gathering around fire pits
watching outdoor movies together
visiting neighbouring houses
participating in shared activities
supporting one another through difficult moments
Staff describe noticing young people encouraging peers to get up for school, helping someone return to routine after a difficult weekend, or simply dropping by another house to spend time together.
None of this was forced. It emerged when adults began to trust the possibility of connection and intentionally created the conditions where it could grow.
When Belonging Leads the Way
Much of the work has been shaped by the Circle of Courage, a framework grounded in Indigenous wisdom that highlights four universal human needs: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity.
Initially, staff focused on building their own sense of belonging while helping young people feel safe, known, and connected. But as we reflected together, something interesting became clear. When belonging began to take root, the other spirits naturally followed.
Young people began to show generosity by helping one another.
They developed independence as they navigated friendships and shared spaces.
They experienced mastery through everyday successes—cooking meals, participating in activities, and contributing to their community.
What began as an effort to strengthen relationships is gradually shaping a different culture of care.
The Quiet Work of Mindset Change
Perhaps the most significant shift has not been in the activities themselves, but in the mindset of the adults.
Staff speak about becoming more open to positive risk-taking. They describe seeing the houses as part of a wider community rather than as separate entities. They are increasingly confident in explaining the developmental reasoning behind their decisions. In a field where compliance and inspection frameworks often dominate the conversation, this shift toward professional confidence and relational intention matters.
It reflects a deeper understanding that young people’s growth rarely happens through rigid structures alone. It happens through relationships, trust, and shared experience.
A Privilege to Witness
Working alongside this community has been an extraordinary privilege. Not because everything is perfect. The work is complex, demanding, and often messy.
But the staff are professionals, willing to reflect, learn, and rethink what success looks like for the young people in their care.
And when adults become curious about their practice and courageous enough to shift their thinking, something beautiful begins to unfold.
The change shows up in shared meals, in laughter around a fire pit, and in a young person helping another get ready for school.
In those small moments, you begin to see the truth of the work:
When adults change the way they think, young people begin to experience the world differently.
And that may be the most powerful shift of all.